Creepiest Family Around
by HighOnYourLove13
Summary: A little short series of the Creepypasta household acting like a normal murderous family.
1. The Fight and Douchebags

Slenderman sighed as he used one tentacle to grab Hoody around the leg and another to grab Jeff around the waist. He pulled them apart and broke up the fight by hoisting them both in the air.** What is the meaning of this? **Slendermans aggravated voice filled everyone's mind. Sally and Masky flinched at the voice. Ben, who eyes were glued to the video game he played barely moved a muscle. Hoody, who was hanging upside down by the leg answered first "Jeff punched Masky in the face." Slendermans blank face turned to 'look' at Jeff who was cursing under his breath and glaring at Hoody from underneath his wild black hair. "Im just chilling, playing dolls or some shit with Sally and he comes in and knocks the entire thing over. I just can't let him get away with that!" Jeff cried crossing his arms and sticking his tongue out at Hoody. Eyeless Jack, who was eating something sloppy and pink on the floor beside Ben laughed. In the corner next to Clockwork (who was drawingthe fight with much more blood and gore) was Hoody who was shaking his head "Thats a lie. I tripped. Why would I intentionally break Sally's stuff?" Masky snapped. Slenderman did what was an equivalent to a sigh, placing both boys on the ground. "So how'd you get into it?" Clockwork murmered, engrossed in her work. Everyone, except for Ben, turned to stare at Hoody. ""W-well Jeff um...pushed, yeah, he pushed Masky into me." Hoody stammered, cheeks suddenly pink. With all eyes on him, it was making everything alot harder to say."BULLSHIT YOU WERE STANDING OVER THERE! Your defending that creeper for what bro?." Hoody looked away. Jeff's giant eyes grew impossibly wider and his gasped in mock surprise. "Wait, are you two fu-" **Enough. Both of you to your rooms. T****here's any more fighting, I'll have The Rake babysit you in the basement. **Both boys shivered at the thought of sitting in the damp cold basement with Rake creepingaround doing God knows what in the surrounding shadows. Jack laughed again. "Alrightman, alright. We wont fight. As long as Hoody doesnt act like a douchebag, we'll be good. Right Hoods?" Hoody nodded, standing next to Masky, his rightful position."Whats a doo-shh bag Jeffwy?" Sally asked, as adorable as usual. She cocked her head to side. Jeff burst into laughter, followed by Ben, Clockwork, and Hoody. Slenderman cursed , suddenly interested picked her up on his way to a kitchen. "Why Sally, a douchebag is a person who comes from D-bagsylvania. Its a place in Europe somewhere." Jack informed her sweetly. "Oooook I get it!" Sally smiled, snuggling into Jack's embrace. He placed her down and raced her outside and into the surrounding forest. "You know eventually, someones gunna' have to have the talk with her." Clockwork shivered and blushed uncomfortably. "Just 'cuz she's a ghost doesnt mean she isnt getting older. Her body isn't but she is." She murmured. "...what's The Talk?" Asked BEN. Everyone groaned.


	2. The Heatwave and Jeffs Hair

**SORRY FOR ALL AND ANY MISTAKES. IM UPLOADING FROM MY PHONE IN A CAR LAWL. "**Fuckety Fuck my life." Jeff moaned loudly, dropoing his head baCk onto the cushion. "Why is it so hottttt?" He groaned dramatically, throwing an arm over his eyes. He had stripped down to his blue boxers and nothing else. No one in the house could even blame him. Masky, Hoodie, and Eyeless Jack all had done the same, all 4 boys draped across furniture in the living room. This had been counted as one of the hottest days in summer so far. Clockwork had taken Sally upstairs, where both girls had stripped down and were coloring. All the shutters and doors where open, yet no breeze entered the house. "Im. Going. To. Die." Hoodie announced. His mask lay forgotten on the floor next to him. "I bet it's like a bajillion degrees outside!" Jeff said, wiping sweat from his forehead."There's no such thing as bajillion Jeff." Masky stated, looking up from a book he had taken from their last victim. "Yes it is. I heard Oprah say it before. Oprah is an angel Masky, therefore it is a number. Soooo, step off." Jeff replied, sticking his tongue out. "I bet your both extra hot with all that hair." Eyeless Jack said, running a hand through his own short black hair. "Mmmmmm." Ben murmered, enamored by the Nintendo D.S in his hands. "Ehhh, its somewhat adding onto the heat-factor. Im not cutting it thou. Slendy likes running his hands through my hair.' Jeff smiled wickedly. All the other boys yelled a variation of "Eww!""What the fu-" "Gross!" "T.M.I!" At the same time. Jeff flicked his tongue at Ben, who rolled his eyes. "Your gross." It was silent for a few minutes before Hoodie looked up. "What's it like?" Hoodie prompted. Ben made a noise of digust and Masky put on a dramatic faint. "We ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH SLENDERMAN." Ben yelled out. Jeff laughed loudly "Why Do you want to know anyway?" Hoodie blushed a little, looking at Masky and looking away. "I know what you can do about your hair though." Masky said after a moment. He pulled a rubberband off his hhandand tossed it at Jeff, who caught it. He pulled his hair back into a high cheerleader-type ponytail. Ben laughed loudly "You look like a chick." "An ugly one." Eyeless Jack added through his own giggles."What! How dare you talk to me in that way. I am a GROWN woman who dont need no man." Jeff sassed back, flipping his ponytail. Clockwork flew down the steps, clad in just her shirt over her panties. It wwasmuchto hot for skinny jeans and she knew that Jeff, the perv of the house, was gay. So was Maskyand Hoodie, even if they didnt know it yet. Ben had the mentality of a 12 year old and Eyeless Jack was aalways silent. "GUYS! LOOK AT THIS!" She exclaimed, turning on her heel and running back upstairs. The boysall groaned in unison, takinga few moments to pry their sweat-slick bodies off the furniture to follow her up the stairs. Her and Sally, who was wearing one of Ben's t-shirts, were standing in the window that faced the wide expanse of backyard. Everyone crowdedaround them and shivered. The Rake was staring at them from below. He cockedhis head and those beady eyes darted towards the forest. He beckoned with a long sharo claw and dragged his deformed body to the forest. "Do we follow?" Masky whispered. The Rake was terrifying, especially to Sally, but the sun was High the woods didnt look so scary."Come On Guys! I'll lead and if the creep's hungry I'll smack him with my ponytail and we can run." Jeff reasoned.

In less than 2 minutes they wereall outside, not daring to put clothes on. Up Ahead, The Rake was staggering forwards, followed by 7 half naked kids. "Where are we going?" Sally huffed. Everyone shrugged and continued. The rake stopped. In front of him was a lake. The water shimmered and sparkled under the sunlight. "Rake, I would kiss you if you weren't so scary. " Jeff whispered, awe-stricken just like everyone else. " LAST ONE IN HAS TO WASH BOB'S FEET!" Jeff screeched, jumping straught intothe water. The kids whooped and yelled as they jumped into the icy reshreshing water. Sally, before she jumped in, smiled at The Rake. "T-thank you." The Rake nodded, retreating into the woods. They played in the water until the sun went down and ran home in the last dusky rays of sunlight to collaspe, onceagain sweaty, in the Creepypasta mansion. Hours later, Slendy returned to a heap of half naked sweaty children piled on the living room floor...and Jeff had a ponytail because...? You know what, Slenderman decided he didnt care, carrying each child one by one to their bedroom.


	3. A New Member

Jeff ran down the street, huffing as he almost tripped on his shoelaces. The sirens in the background faded away as he entered the forest. Only 30 more minutes and he would be home. He slowed down to a trot, putting his knife in his jacket and wiping (more like smearing) blood of his pale face. Alongside his knife was a barbie doll he swiped for Sally and some organs for Jack. Jeff paused a minute as he heard a the noise of crunching leaves and sticks. He froze, whipping around, knife in hand and ready. He was met by the inky shadows cast by the tall trees. Suspiciously, he turned around to continue on his way home. He walked in silence for a while, hands in his pocket. "OOOOOOOOWWWW!" Jeff flinched as something howled extremely close to him. Way to close for comfort. "Oh helllllll naw." Jeff mumbled under his breath. He grabbed the nearest tree branch and pulled himself up, balancing on the thin beam and pulling his hood on. He stared down, knife in his teeth and ready to murder his unwanted shadow. He was up there for about 5 minutes before his stalker showed up from the shadows. A giant black dog, the size of a wolf, walked underneath Jeff's branch, nose tothe ground sniffing. The great beast paused before looking up, and directly at the Jeff. It's face was red, with devilish eyes that were mostly black. But the strangest thing about him, her, it was the large grotesque ssmile that graced it's face. Drool dripped from between its sharp pointed teeth. "What the fizzuck are you?" Jeff whispered.

"smilesmilesmile" it responded without opening its mouth. Its voice was in Jeffs head.

"Smile, eh? Alright Smilez. Why are you following me?" Jeff swung down.

"Just like me. Just like me." Smile Dog responded, cocking his head to the side.

Jeff smiled even wider. Slowly he tentatively placed his hand out and Smile Dog jumped eagerly forward into his outstretched palm. "We are alot alike, aren't we? Come on, unless you have some where else you'd rather be?"

"No home." Smile said, lowering his head.

"Then Vamanos mi Smiley doggo!" Jeff smiled. 5 minutes later and they arrived at the Creepypasta Manor. "Okay okay, wait here!" Jeff exclaimed, climbing in the side window. There was a crash and a boy yelled out "GODDAMNIT JEFF WHAT DID WE TELL YOU ABOUT THE WINDOW!?"

In the livingroom Sally lay on the floor beside Ben, who was playing video games. Slenderman was sitting in the giant armchair in the corner, while Clockwork was drawing on the floor by his feet. Masky and Hoody were on the couch talking and Eyeless Jack was silently sitting in the middlr of the floor. Jeff crashed intothe living room, panting and dirty with dried blood. "GODDAMNIT JEFF WHAT DID WE TELL YOU ABOUT THE WINDOW!?" Hoody had screeched, practically jumping into Maskys lap. "Stfu loser. ANYWAY, I found this dog that looks exactly like me. He's really cool and he can talk and pleeeeaseeee baby can we keep him?" Jeff whined out. "Oooooh a puppy!" Sally giggled happily, tugging on Ben's sleeve. "Bwenny look!" Jeff opened the door and let Smile Dog in. No one said anything as the beast sat down on the carpet. Everyone stared as Smile Dog did a wide sweep of the room. "Woah." Eyeless Jack whispered.

"PUPPY!" Sally screamed, launching herself at the dog to wrap her arms around its neck in a hug. Smile chuckled and licked her grimy face, making her squeal and giggle. "What in the sh- oh another telepathic talker. Like Slendermans voice in our head isn't distracting enough. " Hoody laughed. Clockwork crumbled up the paper she was drawing and began furiously sketching, alternating between staring at the paper and staring at Smile Dog, who was currently laying on his back, long tongue on the floor and getting his belly scratched by Sally.

Ben even lost interest in his game, scratching behind Smiles ear with a "Dudeeeee, you smell gross. If Slenderman says yes you are so taking a shower."

Jeff settled himself on the arm of Slendermans chair, both arms around his shoulders. "Pleeeeaseeee? Come on, we can all take care of him and look at his claws there covered in blood! Obviously he's badass." Jeff pleaded, nuzzling Slendermans neck. "PLease Slenderman?" Sally, Ben, Clockwork, Masky, and Hoodie all cried in unison. **Fine, fine okay! Smile Dog can stay. Smile Dog, you must obey the rules of the Creepypasta Manor, as we like to call it.**

"Fuck yea! Thanks babe!" Jeff whooped, kissing Slendermans cheek. They all crowded around Smile Dog, talking to him and stroking his long, shaggy black hair. A few hours later and Sally was asleep in her room, as was Clockwork in her room, Jack in his, and Masky and Hoodie in theirs.

Slenderman carried Jeff upstairs to their bedroom bridal style, both of Jeffs arm around Slendermans neck. He softly snored as he slept, hair covering his eyes. At Slendermans heels was Smile Dog, who was ready to pass out with exhaustion himself. Slenderman undressed himself and Jeff, and crawled into bed. He pulled the sleeping teen closer to him, and Jeff happily ourred in his sleep. Smile Dog jumped on their bed. "Thank you Master Slenderman for allowing me to stay." He thought-spoke as he lay down at the foot ofthe bed. Slenderman nodded, affectionately petting Smiles head before drifting off to sleep.


	4. Visitors & A Possible Secret Romance?

/SLENDER-BROTHERS-3-402447397. Thats where I first caught a glimpse of Slendys "spin-off bros" lawlz enjoy (I friggin adore jeff and slendy)

**Good Morning.**

"Morning? Its like 2 in the goddamn morning wtf? serial killers need there rest." Jeff grumbled, snuggling deeper into the covers and closer to the heat that radiated off of Slendermans body.

**Jeff wake up. This is important. It involves my brothers.**

"Kinky but Splendorman is creepy." Jeff mumbled sleepily.

**They are coming here. Today actually. Offenderman told me last time they visited. All of you weren't here last time so today you get to meet them. I must warn you, they are extremely annoying.**

"Mmmkay. Dont worry, we'll be good, awesome memories made, people killed, foursomes yada yada, all that jizz."

**You mean Jazz.**

"Sureeee I did, whatever tickles your peach."

**None of my brothers are getting into this bed.**

"So you gotta problem with incest but you can fuck a minor? Priorities bro, pri-or-i-ties." Jeff retorted, laughing. Slenderman himself had to laugh a bit at that before pulling Jeff closer to him, running his hands through that wild hair. Jeff hummed appreciatively.

"Now that we're up." Jeff whispered, rolling over ontop of Slenderman with a mischievous glint in his big eyes. Slenderman had to laugh at that too before parting his lips and pulling Jeff down for a kiss.

_'Knock knock!'_Slenderman sighed heavily, standing straight up, stiff and uncomfortable. Jeff stood as well, draping his arms around Slendermans waist. "It'll be okay. Relax." Jeff wwhispered soothingly. "Yay! They're here!" Sally cheered. Slenderman opened the door. In blew rainbow confetti and ballons, followed by an 8 foot all white creature. He appeared to look like Slendy but had a giant smile, a tophat, and a ridiculous amount of bright colors on. "DID SOMEONE WANT TO PARTY?!" Splendorman shouted, both arms filled with gift boxes. Sally screamed enthusiastically, instantly attaching herself to Splendor's leg. He handed her a bag filled with candy, which Clockwork plucked out of her hand for later. Last time Sally ate candy she had stayed up for 2 days straight.

Behind Splendor walked in a tall white creature with a plaid shirt, brown sweater vest, royal blue jeans, and black converse. { Brother, still wearing that dreadful suit, God! You know if only you would replace all that black with a like a nice sky blue or cadetblue , you know blue is in this season, you could look a bit fashionable. You see, that girl has it. Its easy hun. } Trenderman said in everyone's mind, pointing to Clockwork. As Splendorman and Trenderman intoduced themselves in came another one. He wore a black fedora, long gray trenchcoat, grey jeans and black boots. In between his sharp pointy teeth was a cigarette. **You cant bring that in here. Hoody has asthma**. Slenderman scolded. "Alright, alright dont get your panties in a bunch. Running a kids home? Oh, speaking of panties, boy do I have a story to tell you..."

**Masky and Hoody, Eyeless Jack, Clockwork, Sally, Ben, Smile and Jeff. This is my family, Trenderman, Splendorman, and Offenderman.** Greetings came from all directions and variations. Before long they were all settled down in the living room talking. On the ground Splendorman ate candy with Sally, who was talking a mile a minute. Although Clockwork wasn't very girly she did enjoy talking about everything everyone else was either too young or didnt care enough to talk ahout (media, celebrities,clothes) with Trenderman. Eyeless Jack silently slipped down to the basement with The Rake, because sometimes the Rake gave him organs to eat and The Rake didn't mind the company. Ben, mesmerized by the game as usual occasionaly nibbled candy and laugh3d at Splendormans cheesy jokes. Slenderman sat down, Jeff beside him, if not almost in his lap, as Slendy listened to Offendermans stories.

"GUYS! YOU WANNA' PLAY PARTY GAMES?!" Splendor asked, bouncing up with Sally on his broad shoulders.

"Sally be careful!" Clockwork said, standing behind Sally in case she tumbled (as if she could die).

"Splendor, look around you. Everyones sleep. Stop creeping." Jeff mumbled from his almost-sleep haze off of Slendermans lap.

"O...Well thats okay! Jweff you wanna pway?" Sally asked, pulling of Splendor's top hat to wear.

"No Sally, I dont. Slendyyyy tell people to stop talking to me ugh." Jeff groaned annoyed, nuzzling into slendermans nneckand away from everyone else in the room.

{Awwww! I like when couples match, although some people think it tacky. The black and white really go with it.} Trendy commented, and Clockwork laughed and nodded her head in agreement. Jefd blushed, sticking his middle finger up and shaking his bang in front of his eyes. "Couple?" Offenderman smirked. "He's cute and all but he's like 10."

" I AM 14." Jeff said, jumping up angrily. Slendy gently pulled him back down to the chair.

**When have you ever cared about age? Your literally a sex offender**.

"Yeah but I thought you had morals." Offenderman chuckled. "The last time I-"

"New. Fucking. Subject." Jeff growled quietly to Slenderman, who nodded quickly. The 4 brothers and Jeff talked for a few hours.

**Well then, I think its about time for us to put the children to bed.**

Jeff hopped up to shake Masky awake, while Slenderman scooped up Ben. Sally had passed out on the table of the dining room and Splendorman picked her up and started towards her room. Clockwork, Masky, and Hoody began the walk to their bedrooms. "Goddnight beautiful." Offenderman purred into Clockworks ear as she hugged him goodbye. He bent down to whisper something in her eye, which resulted in Clockwork almost stabbing him with his art pencil. Jeff howled with laughter as he grasped Clockwork around the waist and pulled her backwards towards her room. "Nat! Nat just calm d-" Eyeless Jack whispered as he ascended the staircase. Clockwork nodded, smoothing down her long brown hair before following Jack to his room. Eyeless Jack was the only one Natalie could talk to, truly talk to, without worry. Jeff waggled his eyebrows at Offenderman. "Losing your game huh?"

"Oh shut u-"

"Alrighty-Roo! I think its time to leave. Bye Slendy!" Splendor pulled Slenderman into a bone-breaking hug much to his dismay. "Bye Jeff!" He hugged Jeff as well, who shivered. {All right then, I'll see you 2 later. Dont ever wear crocs. Au revoir.} Trendy said as he lightly hugged both of them. "Yeah, so uh, see ya' later babes. Bye Slendy." Offenderman smiled, shaking their hands and slinking out the door behind the other 2.

"Wow. That was exhausting! Youdid great Slendy. No one got punched in the dick, so I consider it a win." Jeff exclaimed. "Ya' know they aren't that bad..." slendy stared as Jeff babbled on sleepily. It was a good he had this adorably, bratty kid and the rest of the Pastas because he hasn't been this happy in a long time. He brushed Jeffs bangs out of his face, only for them to fall back in place, much to Jeff's dismay. "Oh wait!" Jeff pulled out his rubberbamd and pulled his long hair back into a low ponytail. "Thats better right?! Im supermodel hot." Jeff laughed as Slenderman shook his head and mentally laughed. They collapsed on the bed, talking (mostly Jeff) and getting ready to go to bed (mostly slendy). **Sure you are. Now you need to go to sleep. Someone has to explain to Sally where Splendy went**

"Hey, thats my line! I can make one up for you if you want. What about-" Slendy silenced Jeff with a quick kiss before pulling him down into the red sheets. "Mmmmm." Jeff smiled, breathing finally evening out and falling asleep, long arms and legs tangled around Slendermans.


	5. The Clock and The Cannibal

"Where have you been?" Eyeless Jack said quietly, sitting indian style on her bed.

"Out." Clockwork growled, closing the window shut behind her as she crawled in. She was panting, sucking in deep harsh breaths of cold December air. Her long curly brown was wild in her face, which was odd since she usually had it pulled back. Twigs and dirt was in her hair, and her blue sweater had a large hole in it. She collasped onto the ground, knife in hands. Blood was smeared om her cheek and a bit was on her eye-clock. Her white shirt also had blood on it.

"Nat we were all looking for hours." Jack whispered, smoothing out the wrinkles in Clockworks comforter trying to stay calm.

"I never told you to."she replied back coldly. She wiped her knife on her black jeans, not looking at Jack.

Eyeless Jack inhaled deeply, trying to control all the words that were threatening to spill out of his mouth. "Nat Sally cried herself to sleep. Jeff is still out looking, Masky and Hoodie are scoping out every neighborhood, and Slenderman has alerted his brothers. " He snapped, crossimg his arms.

"OUT! OKAY? I WAS OUT! Last time I checked I didn't have to answer to any of you. So, so fuck off." Clockwork yelled out stomping to the bathroom. Jack sighed, pulling out her sketchpad and some of her pencils and laid them on her bed. He knew whenever she was upset she could draw for hours on end. Jack pulled off his hoodie, his gray t-shirt underneath smelling faintly of peppermints, which him and Sally had munched on earlier. Come to think of it he had actually never seen any of her drawings. As soon as he reached his hands out to grab the sketchpad she burst through the doors. She was still dirty, bruised, and sore but her curly hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She threw her coat in the corner and slumped down to the ground beside him. After 10 minutes of absolute silence he whispered a "Nat?"

She had her face turned away. "What?" He could tell she was about to cry, her voice shaking and her fingers twiddling nervously with the tiny charm bracelet Sally had given her. He watched her twiddle for a few moments.

"Oh come here." He sighed, wrapping his arms around her. She cried hard, curling her hands to rest calmly on his chest as her tears stained his shirt. She would get like this sometimes, upset and dobbing and donw with the world. Thats when those cuts Jack despised so much would shoe on her thin wrist. "Shhhhhhhh, its okay Nat. Its alright. Relax." He rubbed circles into her backwith his thumb. He kicked off his sneakers and rest his head on hers as she whimpered. "Come on Nat, relax."


End file.
